This semester has already felt more intense than all of last semester. Don't ask me why, maybe just being on the east coast does something to your blood. Tighter spaces, less sky, sulfur water, and the winter weather all seem to play a small role. Our time here in southern Florida has been fast, but God has already done so much, not only in the churches that we have been in but also in my own heart. The team has been going through a book for team devotions on the topic of fear. From the first page to last chapter that I read this book has been an honest description of how I live the majority of life. Walking around thinking fearful thoughts, feeling fearful, and then speaking fearful words. This could make it sound like I'm living timidly, sure sometimes I'm not too confident and I do get nervous when I have to play music in front of people, but for me living in fear comes out in my life when I turn flippant and speak carelessly. It is easy for me to speak quick and sarcastically with my friends when I'm choosing fear over perfect love, or just choosing little effort in case of failure. One point from the book that has stuck with me is the idea that whatever you are fearing has control over you. To hear that is a bit scary for me. I don't like the idea that I would put myself in the place of letting something control me. Lately it has been difficult for me to know exactly how to conquer this sin when so much of my life is filled with it. One thought that I have had recently is that if I actually fear the Lord I can be controlled by him, instead of my fears. It is an encouraging thing when a phrase used so many times in the Bible is brought to a place of greater understanding. I still have much fear in my life, but through God's grace I don't have to be controlled by my fears if I choose to love and fear the Lord.
-Stephen Pettit
|
